The Ideal Wedding Guest Guide

Dos & Don’ts

 I’m here to help you be the ideal guest, the dos and don’ts to enjoying the day planned by your amazing friends.

 Guest list

Please don’t assume you have a plus one unless the invitation specifically says “and guest” or the bride/groom has told you that you can bring your significant other.

A plus one should not be expected unless you’ve been with your boyfriend or girlfriend for a long period of time, you’re engaged or married, or live together.

Try to remember that each extra guest costs the bride and groom extra––and don’t forget, the singles’ table can be fun!


You should know this by now, but ladies should simply not wear white to a wedding. This includes ivory, champagne, off-white, and even blush, considering the color palette of wedding gowns these days (Unless this is the theme or the bride doesn’t care). As far as rules for attire beyond that, dress appropriately for the time and season. We can’t have anyone wondering who the bride is now do we?

 For example, a sundress is great for an afternoon wedding in the spring. In general, anything after 7 or 8 p.m. is considered black tie. As always, if you’re unsure about attire, ask a bridesmaid or family member of the bride.


Please, please, please follow all instructions sent out. This seems like such minor detail, but let me assure you that no bride feels that RSVPs are a minor detail! As soon as you receive a formal invitation, respond yes or no––either way! You will not be offending if you can’t attend.

 Vendors need confirmations of numbers and it’s just rude not to respond. No RSVP means no seat reserved for you on the day.

 If there is a potential clash, inform the couple and they can have a plan in place just in case either way.


 This falls under the Guests category but this is a sensitive area that I thought it best to separate and add clarity.

 Not everyone wants children at their wedding. It’s not your place to argue the point. Don’t assume that all four of your kids are welcome at a wedding ceremony or reception as more and more couples are choosing to have adult-only weddings.


 Even if they aren’t, eliminating kids is a quick and easy way for couples to trim their guest lists. If the invitation isn’t address to you and your family, confirm with a bridesmaid or close family member of the bride. Simply ask, “Hey, are Adam and Eve having kids at their wedding? Just wanted to be sure before I booked a sitter for that evening!” You’ll come off conscientious and considerate.


You don’t have to spend a lot of money on a gift for the couple. If they’ve invited you, it’s because they want you to share this special occasion, not because they want to accrue more stuff.

 Most couples provide plenty of gift ideas at many different price points on their registry.

 Another pro tip––mail your gift. Lots of stores provide that service for free or a nominal charge, and trust me when I say that no couple wants to lug around a bunch of gifts after a tiring day.

Be Inspired!! Enjoy and share!

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